From Dr. Evil's HQ in Seattle...
I officially hate Starbucks.
Why?
8:10 a.m.
Mrs. Freak: [getting dressed for school] I'm gonna get some Starbucks on my way to school; I'm really tired.
Mr. Freak: Ok.
Mrs. Freak: Nah, I don't have time, I'm already running late. I have to be on the road by 8:20 to get to class on time.
Mr. Freak: [about to walk out the door] How about this: I'll run to Starbucks and order for us both, and you can just drive by and grab your drink. You won't have to wait for the order. What do you want?
Mrs. Freak: Thanks Honey, that's sweet. I'll have a Soy Latte. The middle size.
8:20 a.m.
Mr. Freak: [to Starbucks barrista] Thank you!
Mr. Freak carefully balances his briefcase, keys, Mrs. Freak's Soy Latte, and his own Mocha Frappuccino.
As he walks through the door, the cellular phone in his pocket begins to pick out the first few bars of the Super Mario Bros. theme. Mr. Freak carefully sets the drinks on an outdoor table and fumbles for the phone.
Mr. Freak: [into the phone] What's up Honey?
Mrs. Freak: Um, which Starbucks did you go to?
Mr. Freak: [with pain, knowing that she's already at the one on Montano -- on her way to school -- rather than on her way to the one by Smith's -- on his way to work] The one by Smith's.
Mrs. Freak: Why would you go to that one?!?!?!
Stupid Starbucks.
posted by GFreak @ 9:23 AM
3 Comments:
I have 2 with three blocks away. There's also a Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf.
Man, us Californians, we love our low-grade speed.
We live in an actual residential area, though... but they've got 'em set up at both of the main entrances to this neighborhood! AAAaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhh!
Yeah, those Starbucks bastards!!! How dare they do that to you, man. They are messing with your brain.
Well, what can you expect from a coffee chain named after a character on Battlestar Galactica.
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